“Always Fast, Never Shared”
It’s how PacBell DSL differentiates itself from @Home’s service. Are they being honest when they say it?
September 10, 2000
by Eric Svetcov
In the San Francisco Bay Area we are treated (inundated wouldn’t be too strong a word) to regular doses of Pacific Bell DSL commercials commenting on how their DSL service is “Always Fast, Never Shared.” Unfortunately for Pacific Bell, just because they keep repeating it doesn’t make it true.
To put this in perspective, let me relate to you the nature of their commercials. First they show a neighborhood - it looks like any suburban neighborhood in just about any suburban city in the United States. Then as the commercial progresses you begin to see graffiti (‘WEB HOG’), neighbors vandalizing each other’s yards and folks getting into fights. All because they are attempting to login to the Internet at the same time. As the scene fades, it is replace with a PacBell DSL information page with the heading “Always Fast, Never Shared” and a bunch of fine print.
Every time I see this ad I’m irked (yes, imagine me getting up from the couch, waving my arms wildly and fuming to no one in particular.....that’s about how I feel). DO THEY THINK WE ARE STUPID????
Apparently they do. Let’s look at the term “Always Fast, Never Shared” as individual clauses. First with “Always Fast.”
Always Fast
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary online, the word ‘always’ is listed as:
1 : at all times : INVARIABLY
2 : FOREVER, PERPETUALLY
3 : at any rate : in any event <as a last resort one can always work>
Well, if you have ever worked around computers and networks, you know that there is no such thing as “always” except where it applies to something eventually NOT WORKING.
The first word of their slogan is obviously not true....and it gets worse from there.